You are here. With me. Reading this. For one of the following reasons:
- You are a friend and reading this out of love and support,
- You are an acquaintance and reading this out of curiosity,
- You are insanely bored and happened upon this site,
- You think I’m a bit spooky, a whack job, drank the Kool-Aid, or simply over the edge and you have a burning curiosity to prove to yourself just how far into the abyss I have fallen.
Regardless your reason, you are here. With me. Reading this. And things will never, ever, be the same…
It was never my intention to walk this path. This path chose me a very, very long time ago. It took 47 years, but I’m here, and I am listening. I am not powerless to walk away, I choose not to. The most important thing I can impart to you, right now, is I am a regular person. I am not a Mystic. I am not other-worldly. I am not perfect, purified, sanctified, or zealous.
I smoke cigars. I eat carbs. I drink bourbon. I eschew the gym to hang out with my dogs (or cook, or knit, or insert anything here that is NOT working out.) More importantly I have a vocabulary of adjectives which could make a longshoreman blush. So you see… I am not all that different from you (or perhaps I am, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find common ground!) I have one simple philosophy– if you are not hurting yourself or another sentient being and what you do brings you peace, then by all means– GO FORTH IN LOVE AND DO WHAT YOU DO! I will not interfere in your path even if it is confusing to me, and I ask only the same from you. I will not allow you to bring me to anger through your hate or fear. I will not allow you to diminish what I love. I will however defend what I love– with as much ease and grace as I can muster. DO NO HARM, BUT TAKE NO SHIT.
Still with me? Okay… then onto what I like to refer to as “the Cray-Cray”. As a child I was highly intuitive, all children are, society just learned to beat it out of us versus encourage such talents because “they weren’t normal”. Well I’m here to tell you that “normal” is merely a setting on the washing machine. I used to know who was going to call before they called, what would happen before it would happen, that a total stranger was thinking something about me, or the woman in line in front of my Mom and I at the bank had a lump in her head, where my Mom’s lost ring was hiding, that the squirrel at my feet felt peaceful around me and wanted to be closer. This was chalked up to “Brigitte has a very ACTIVE imagination and tends a bit to the dramatic”… eventually you don’t want to be the weird little kid anymore.
Through a series of events, which to me still seem dreamlike, I realized I was searching for something so much deeper and more meaningful. I felt lost every day, not knowing what I was supposed to be doing. When Reiki presented itself to me, I was not even entirely certain what it was, I just knew I was open to it and every time I simply exhaled and took a step closer, Reiki was in front of me again, gently guiding me to an understanding. What I will describe will sound ridiculous, you may stop reading and roll your eyes, you may choose not to associate with me– all these things are completely OKAY. You cannot possibly upset me or hurt me for feeling this way. So at your own risk, continue reading…
When my doggy daycare business began to crumble because of circumstances I was powerless to stop, I began to spin out of control, emotionally and spiritually. A dear friend of mine (who helped me reconnect with the art of intuitive communication with animals only months prior) gave me the proverbial smack I desperately needed. The collision course I was on seemed unavoidable. I sought guidance through 5-Element Chinese acupuncture and meditation for the very first time in my life. I began to find there were no cooincidences and it became a very “magical” albeit uncertain, time in my life. In a communication with a beloved animal I was repeatedly told to “HEAL. HEAL. HEAL!” This message continued to present itself to me and while I knew I needed to heal myself, I also knew it was meant for me to heal others. I simply had no freaking idea HOW.
It was at this same time that a specific creature began to present itself to me daily– some days up to 10-15 times per day. Oddly, anyone who knows me KNOWS I am NOT a “bug” person. I didn’t catch the significance, just thought it odd everywhere I went there were Praying Mantis surrounding me. I figured it was some weird “time of the Mantis” thing… like locust. On a fateful day as I approached a friend’s house for a cleaning job I felt a crushing feeling of pain and urgency– my brain was literally (and no… not figuratively–LITERALLY) hearing internal screams. My immediate fear was one of the beloved animals in the home was hurt. But as I got onto the porch I immediately saw a Praying Mantis whose entire back end had been crushed but he was still alive. The urgency and pain were emanating from him to me. I immediately crushed him, releasing his pain as there was simply no other option or path. There was an immediate sense of peace and calming. I left his body in the grass and went about my business. When I left the house I noticed his body was gone. Maybe a bird took him, or a cat– circle of life.
When I returned home, I had another communication about HEALING. Immediately following I felt a need to go to my bookcases (they are pretty damn big and pretty damn full)– without knowing why, I knelt down, pulled out an entire row of books, to find a book smashed in the back behind all the others. It had been given to me by a publisher friend 3 years ago. In my hand I held “Reiki for Dummies”– it had been given to me along with 4 other “For Dummies” books on various technical concepts (like ad-words, SEO, etc) which I had apparently shoved in the back of the bookcase without a thought or concern. As I held the book in my hand I felt a presence. It was not spooky or creepy in any way, but I was not alone. In my peripheral vision I saw a flutter, a shimmer, a shadow— I cannot adequately describe it but it was much like the ripples in a calm pool of water only in the air. I walked to the front door and saw “something” create shadow and movement and fly away. I realized it was a Praying Mantis. I watched it fly away– going higher and higher. All the way to the end of our block where I saw it disappear beyond the Bradford Pear trees in bloom. Okay– so say it… OUT LOUD. Simply acknowledge the “cray-cray” (the crazy).
Nothing seemed odd. Until I stated that scenario out loud– to another human being. It was like retelling a dream– when you are IN the dream it all seems perfectly logical and nothing really seems out of place. Then you say it out loud and laugh your ass off because of the improbability of it all and you think, “How mental is that!? What a crazy dream!” Only I wasn’t sleeping, or dreaming, or drunk, or taking prescription medication. Never mind that the Praying Mantis was the size of a 10 year old, or that I watched it fly away above the trees and could still track it a city block away. Because it’s not possible… at least not in the everyday physical realm. But I experienced energy in its purest form. Did my brain “create” the image? Did I suffer from a mass delusion? I don’t believe that for a hot minute. I know I experienced the guidance and energy of the Universe at exactly the moment I needed it, in exactly the form I required it, with exactly the message which was intended for me.
Each day following what I like to refer to as, “my moment of clarity”, my Praying Mantises began to come closer… physically entering my space and touching me. The day I opened the Reiki for Dummies on my patio and began reading, three mantises crawled onto the table. One simply sat to the left of my hand about 6 inches away, one sat on the back of the chair where I sat so I could see him just over my shoulder in my peripheral vision, while the third crawled onto my book and perched on the spine as if to say “We’re so happy you figured this shit out in the SUMMER!”
In time I embraced the spirit and message from the Praying Mantis– BE STILL. DO NOT ACT IN HASTE. BE PATIENT AND WHEN YOU STRIKE IT WILL BE WITH INTENT, PURPOSE, AND SURETY OF SUCCESS. Through my Acupuncturist, I was introduced to one of Indianapolis’ founding Reiki practitioners who helped me find my Master Teacher and provided so much love and guidance. Four years later, I practice within the same clinic where my journey to find the balance between body, mind, and spirit first began. Today I am a fourth level certified Reiki Master Teacher… and my life will never… ever… be the same. I am forever grateful for those who pass into my life as I forever walk forward on this journey. Namaste my peeps! And I wish for you each to find your guides and move forward with ease and grace.